Of Corrupted Ideals and Of Awareness

Damn it!

I felt anger rising within me the longer I work in my current firm. It is so wrong, so, so wrong. Nothing is in proper way.

First of, the corruption of thoughts. We will definitely lose our innocent view on design and Architecture the longer we work. It needs not to be so, people would say you will and have to compromise, but from my observation, I have to disagree. Because we are only as good as our bosses allow us to be and as our bosses want us to. I have experience the leadership of lousy bosses in my current firm. Bunch of old conservative minded fools who think they know, who think they are better. Ironic. Ridiculous.

I practice self-meditation every single morning in order to keep my purity of thoughts and let the innocence of mine survive. Six more months, I told myself constantly every single day I am here.
Books and writings are my only consolation. Things that keep me alive inside.
I need those.


People at your work place, be careful of them. Be aware, listen to what they say, listen very carefully. But believe only in yourself. For they say nothing of the Truth but their own opinions, most will talk bad about the other colleagues, they may not be right. But this people, be cautious of them and realize that if they are able to talk bad about others, there lies a chance that you will be talked by as well.
Those who are quiet are no better. Even they may not belittle others, they may possess harm by their actions. 
It is therefore better to be armed and practice self-cultivation.
To realize that everybody is the same.

To Record What I Have Been Through

I think. I observe.

It has almost been half a year now I am working in Batam office. I find the office stagnant in design and lead by a bunch of old conservative men who have no talent nor hardwork, surviving solely with decently good ass-kissing skill. No coordination between departments, between the consultants and the contractor, between the consultants and the clients are observed, even if there is, it will be very subtle and insignificant.

I am recording this in hope of me not losing my innocence in Architecture the day I was first introduced to it, the day that I saw wonder and hope. The day I saw Beauty.
I am in constant fear that I might lose my ideal, that this office, instead of teaching me, will corrupt me. I have to always put myself in a neutral position, to stand outside the system and to see the system itself, the way I did for the last two years of my study at Singapore Polytechnic. I must be aware of this.

There are a lot of things that I am not in agreement with my current office.
I dislike the design method: Addition-and-Covering. Addition-and-Covering is a last minute way to resolve design and problems on-site for practical purpose. I have not objection towards solving problems on-site, a circumstance inevitable. But the way the office do it has to be very clear. In this office, instead of the architects/designers solving the problems, the problems are thrown to the contractor and asked to produce shop-drawing. Such way of throwing responsibility is very unprofessional and in a way, asking the contractor to design, while we the architects should have been the one who solve and design.
What role do we have now but a whore for the clients trying to earn as much money as we can?

This office lacks integrity and ideal.
I learned a lot on what not to do.